And at this moment I feel very strange.
Focusing on literatures, I’ve read quite a lot of war novels, journals, poems.
I’ve visited battlefields, trenches, memorials in France, Belgium and Berlin.
I see images of current wars on the news all the time.

But today, watching the remembrance service. It’s suddenly hit me and war seems real. And I know how stupid that sounds. But seeing all the old men, I think there were three there that served in WW1, which means, technically if they’d signed up at the legal age they’d be 118. And the oldest was 115 I think. He would have been 15 when he signed up? 15 to go to war. 15 to see the things he saw. I can’t imagine it.
Ages ago I watched a programme about the Bevin Boys. They were a group of men who were picked at random to work in the coal mines instead of go to war. These 70 odd year old men, were sitting telling this bloke interviewing them about some awful things that would happen, it seemed as if they had no emotion what so ever. Until they started to talk about how their families kicked them out and people would taunt them in the street, calling them cowards because they’d believed these boys hadn’t gone to war. And these almost emotionless men broke down. That was tough to watch. And I remember one of them saying he would have rather gone to war and died then have worked down in the mines and been branded a coward. In 2007 Tony Blair allowed them to be march in the remembrance service as heroes. Why the hell has it taken them so long?! But I saw them today. Marching proudly.

I’m not too sure why it’s suddenly become so real to me. I wish there was something I could do to be a part of it all and help. But I doubt I’d be much good.

I’m not too sure why the reality of war has just hit me today. But it has. And I’m glad it has. It’s made me realise that the world isn’t so perfect. And that all these men, dead or alive, have fought for us to have  the lives that we have today. And I’m proud to support them. Just wish I could do it all year long instead of just November.

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,
though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

I am a single lady (girl, woman, teenager…I’m still not sure what category I fall into!). I’m not sure I ever mentioned Jack on any of my posts. Probably because nothing that significant happened with him in the time I started writing my blog. So, single life. Well it’s not all it’s cracked up to be….oh who am I kidding?! I love it. I love not having to check in with someone (other than my mum) on how I am. I love not having to text someone 24:7 without them getting funny with me. I love being able to flirt (without feeling slightly guilty about it!). Same goes for looking at rather attractive men. Which Cheltenham does seem to be lacking, but sometimes you have a good day and others you don’t! I enjoy knowing that I can do whatever the heck I want. In any situation. )

Onto a new subject. Second year at university is going well. Handed in my first assignment on the 29/10. About Paul Valery’s analogies of poetry compared to prose in one of his essays! Doesn’t make a lot of sense to those not doing my course, which I should imagine is hmm….99% of people! Oh well, I’ll update you with what mark I get! I also have to do 3 other pieces of coursework before I break up for Christmas is is shockingly only about a month and a half away! How scary! I remember last Christmas like it was yesterday! There was 11 people eating at our house. I’m not sure if mum and Auntie Terri are brave enough to cater for that many again. But it was a good day. Even though most of the over 50′s fell asleep after lunch! Yes that included Dad and Uncle Steve! Whilst myself and Steph cleared up. Because we are good children. Then a lot of talking and playing with Christmas presents. Although now I’m getting older there’s not a lot I can “play” with anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting clothes, money, jewelery, perfume and alcohol. I could play with alcohol but I don’t think I’d get a good name for myself!

On wednesday I will be having an introduction day at a secondary school in Cheltenham to mentor years 10 and 11 students. How exciting. Little bit nervous as I’m not 100% sure what I’ll be talking to them about. But over all I think this will be good experience for me especially with wanting to become a secondary school teacher. The one thing I would be worried about would be bonding with the children and in doing this at least I’ll gain some experience in doing that! I get paid for it too which is a bonus. I’m so excited though.

I think I’ve run out of things to update you with. So I’ll leave it there!

Here she is being a muppet lounging around in my drawers!!

This is her odd way of climbing off chairs.

After she lost her right eye, she went from the loopy cat everyone loved to a cat that wasn’t interested in much. And the last time I saw her was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, but I’m blanking that out and remembering her for who she was.

Mum and I went to buy her a statue to put on her patch this morning from Sanders. We were going to go with a cat, but I prefered this on because it was sleeping. Just like Jess is. Dad placed her next to the greenhouse, because that’s where she loved being.

I was a little bored this afternoon, with silage making cancelled due to the foreger breaking down. So I decided she needed a clean, which she did. This is also an exprimental post see if I can post picutres!!

She was born, as far as I know in 1984. She is a 3 door hatchback. Original A plate, with a Wolfsburg steering wheel. Apparently they are rare (or special or something like that!) As when the Nazis were ruling, they created a special place for the makers of VW, called Wolfsburg. ) Wikipedia it…!
I like ^^this^^ photo because she looks like she’s about to pounce!!

This is her badge. Proud to be VW )

I liked this photo as her bonnet was so shiney you can see the fluffy clouds )

And here she is tucked away safely ready for bed. And by tomorrow morning she’ll be dusty again!!

Incase you were wondering, she’s named Penny because she’s a Polo )

I thought I should write a new blog but I’m now not too sure on what to write.

I’ve finished all two of my exam. Both went ok I think and hope! I finished 20 mins early on the last one. I though it be best to leave then instead of panicking and rambling on more and more and making less sense then I probably already did!!

I’m currently waiting to a film to buffer completely on alluc.org. Which is a wonderful site for when boredom kicks in! I’ve watched the whole of Dirty, Sexy Money. Well the first series anyway! I think it’s on 6/7 on tv.

I’m listening to a song by Phil Collins called. “I wish it would rain down”. Always loved the song and the music that goes with it, especially the guitar. And whilst on YouTube the other day, listening to some Mr Collins I thought I’d listen to that one. Only to find that it was Eric Clapton on guitar in the song! I always thought it was a familiar sound!! The video is odd though.

I’m not really sure what to do with myself today. Or tomorrow. I’ve got no work to do. At all. I’ve got one book that I’ll hopefully be doing next year for my Psychoanalysis, Sexuality and Writing module.
Speaking of modules for next year, I’ve been sorting through them all.
I shall give you a breif description of the modules I’m thinking of doing next year. Basically I have to pick 8 modules. 4 for Semester 1 and 4 for Semester 2. Instead of ten like this year.
Sem 1 = 1 for semester 1 (from September till Christmas)
Sem 2 = 1 for semester 2 (from January until May)
Year = 2 = 1 for semester 1 and 1 for semester 2.
Are you following? I get confused! OK, so this is how I’m thinking it’s going to work!

EX (EX is the English Literature code for uni) 203 (The first number represents the year we’re in, and the of course the module code which in this case is 03) Essays in Theory
This module is compulsary, joy!
“This module will introduce students to literary theory of the twentieth century up until 1960. Students study in small groups in a seminar situation guided by a tutor. An example of criticism is read and prepared for group discussion each week, taken from the set anthology. Students familiarise themselves with these examples and analyse the assumptions and critical frameworks inherent in the chosen essays. A particular feature of the module is the emphasis on group work.”
Doesn’t sound too awful! Is is a Semester 1 module

EX213 – Renaissance, Revolution, Restoration: Literature 1580-1700
“This module will guide students through writing in English in the period 1580 – 1700, providing different pathways to do so. These pathways are provided within a historical conspectus of the broad generic divisions of drama, poetry and prose. This double module complements other modules in the EN field, in providing substantial knowledge of and engagement with English writing from the Early Modern period onwards.”
This is a Year long one. Which goes well with….

EX214 – Restoration to the Romantics – The long 18th Century.
“The module introduces students to, and allows selective study of, a variety of writings in the period 1700-1830, including verse, fictional and non-fictional prose, letters and diaries. While its historical parameters lend the module intellectual coherence, the emphasis will be on the discovery of literary variety, and the development of readings capable of discriminating and comparing writings produced in different contexts and obeying different aesthetics.“
This is a Year long one. I fear it may be a looooong 18th century!

EX215 – Psychoanalysis, Sexuality and Writing
“This module explores the relationship between psychoanalysis and writing by exploring some of the key psychoanalytic theories. Debates centred around the issues of sexuality and writing, gender and genre and the construction/representation of sexuality will provide the module focus. A selection of theoretical, fictional and filmic explorations will be studied in the context of the theories propounded by their psychoanalytic forebears.”
This is a Semester 2 module. I need to apply for it asap, as I fear it may be a popular one.

EX218 – Nineteenth Century American Writing
“This module is intended to provide students with a variety of texts, which represent the predominantly New England tradition of fiction, poetry and essay writing of the mid- to late- nineteenth century. Following a broadly chronological model, the course begins with an introduction to transcendentalist thought through the essays of Emerson and the work of Whitman and Thoreau. ‘Canonical’ writing by Nathanial Hawthorne, Herman Melville, and Edgar Allen Poe are considered and problematised in the light of Frederick Douglass’s Narrative of the Life of an American Slave and the poetry of Emily Dickinson. Finally, Stephen Crane’s The Red Badge of Courage, Henry James’s Washington Square and Kate Chopin’s The Awakening provide texts which look toward twentieth century notions of modernity.”
This is also one I am looking forward too. It’s a Year long module.

For single honours students, the compulsory subjects are Essays in Theory and 2 out of the 3 year long one. Although if I also take the other year long one, and a Semester 2 one. That’s my 8 sorted. God this sounds confusing!!

I then went to fill in the forms for my student loans next year. I filled in how much loan I wanted to my tuition and then thought, hang on. I’ll just check if they’re still £3,070. NO! They’ve gone up to £3,145!!! Now, I’m sorry. But that is stupid. If I went to uni before 2005 I’d only have to pay £1,455. HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY LOGICAL SENSE?! Why do I have to pay more to get a decent education which by the way I need if I need to get a decent job! How does that make any logical bloody sense! I’m so cross. And everyone is gonna bitch and moan (and by everyone I mean family) about how much debt I’m getting myself into. How am I not supposed to get myself into debt? Get a job – yeap ok, find me a job that’s willing to pay me enough not to get into debt. Don’t go to uni – don’t get a decent job and end up working in McPoo for the rest of my life. The only logical way I could do it would be to win the lottery and hey that’s not gonna happen for some time. So if anybody has a great mirical way of me not getting myself into about £24,000 worth of debt by the time I’m 22, I’d love to hear it cuz I’m all out of ideas. No degree = No decent job.

This week, (starting from sunday), has been miserable, down and gloomy. I’ve wanted to either kill everyone or cry on their shoulder. I haven’t cried in front of anyone yet, which is a record for me! But you know when you get that feeling at this time especially, when you just want everyone to leave you alone. And sods law is, that because you are acting a bit down, on come the questions…
“Are you ok?”
“Are you sure you’re ok?”
“You would tell me wouldn’t you?”
“Is it me? You’d tell me if it was me wouldn’t you?”
I’M FINE IT’S JUST A BAD DAY! RAWRAWRAWRAWR!!!!!!
Oh well, it could be worse. I could be pregnant which would be just 20+ years of bad days! HaHa!

I bought a new mouthwash on Saturday called Listerine. My lord. I actually thought that my gums were melting. I know it says “Helps protect and strengthen teeth” but seriously, that amount of intensity is not good! It honestly felt like my tongue was going to dribble out of my mouth because it had melted! And me being me though, oh Muppet here, I bet I was supposed to dilute it. Oooooh No!! No dilution. Just pure intense, crazy acid like mouthwash.

Three book arrived for me in the post. A nice new, clean edition of ’1984′ by George Orwell. OK book, makes you think. But is highly over-rated!!

A special edition of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austin. I’ve just gotten into this book. When I first started to read it I found it difficult to get into. Then I watched the film for incentive. That was in October!! Now I have to do an exam on it, I actually have to read it. So that’s all fun. Mr Darcy is a lot nicer in the book though.

And finially ‘The Yellow Wallpaper’ by Charlotte Perkins. Not one that I have read yet, although have heard a lot about it by my friend Pippa who studied it for her A-Level coursework. Also if I take the modules I want to next year I need this book, better prepared then not hey!

I managed to crack on with some intensive revision today. Bought these amazing sticky post its in all shapes and sizes perfect for revision. Just as Tanya and I walked into Tescos some guy was taking them away, so I stopped him and bought two, for £2 each, and then used my £2 off voucher. D
So hopefully these will be very useful in my revision and I will pass my exams with flying colours! TeeHee.

Home on friday. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

^^
(Just a tad excited!)

The reason for the title is because I am fed up with living with some of the people that are here. They all have their negative’s. Apart from Tanya.
Big Steve is a big, miserable pain who thinks he’s superior to everyone else, even though he can’t spell or read.
Natalie is a hypochondriac.
Emily, well to be honest there’s nothing wrong with Emily. Although I can’t trust her.
Hardly ever see Wee Man and Tom.
And then there’s Amy. Me and Amz do get on fine. It’s just that she’s such a slob! She thinks that she doesn’t need to clean up after herself which is disgusting. There’s a pile of washing up in the kitchen and the majority of it is hers. She walks around with grey joggers on with no underwear which is disgusting. And she is just an over all slob. She is lovely, and will help anyone that needs it. But she’s used to having everything done for her and it’s not fair on the rest of us, mainly me, because I hate having an untidy area. Be it the kitchen or the bathroom. So usually I’ll do it. And it’s not just like she eats stuff like…chips. Which hardly leaves any mess. She’ll eat Tuna Mayo and mix it in a bowl, and leave it there. She’ll leave her frying pan. Natalie washed up the dishes before we left for Easter and she found MAGGOTS! How disgusting is that?! In a frying pan full of fat! Could put money on it that it was hers. GRRRRR!

So I’ve decided I’m ready to move out now and live in a house with clean people.

It should be done at quarter past. Then I will need to tumble dry both lots and then when that is done, I will need to check what is still wet and put it on again. However, if it is all still wet I won’t bother and just hang it all up in my room. As it is a lovely day and it should dry in the sun.

Jack went home about half an hour ago. Bless him, he’s been coughing lots. Although he’s coughing pretty well, as he woke my next door room mate up, and I think it’s going. Yay! Although I think dad must have caught it. Not sure how if even I haven’t caught it! *touch wood*

I’m supposed to have a doctors appointment tomorrow, hopefully I still will. Although sods law is that nothing will be wrong tomorrow and then on tuesday everything will hurt again! I was supposed to go on thursday but randomly the doctor I was supposed to be having got taken into hospital. Me being me, was like ermmm? All sympathetic as I normally am! They rang to say I had to rearrange. I did and also asked in the nicest possible way…so I now won’t be seen until monday? *sigh* She replied with, Yes but think of poor Dr Bailey in hospital. I was like, well I don’t know her! lol. The receptionists there seem to be a bit silly. I think that has to be a trait if you are going to do that job!

Will let you all know how I get on at the doctors tomorrow if my doctor hasn’t died or something.